Post by trixie on Oct 13, 2006 18:52:28 GMT -5
This is not even remotely funny. My apologies to you all. I wasn’t even going to write anything. But I actually watched today. And now you all have to pay for that.
How nice. Colby is dressed and ready for Clown School. She even tries to enlist Josh because they need one more clown to be crammed into the little car. Colby SCREECHES that she needs him to pass her final exam. He’s not buying it.
Josh reminds her that he already has several vocations on his resume and that thanks to her, Statutory Rapist is now listed as the most recent one. Besides, he can’t wear purple stripes and suspenders as they make his hips look big.
Cue Cathy’s Clown.
Oh now we have Kwak spewing crap to Dixie Doodle. Kwak doesn’t feel well. Dixie Doodle doesn’t act well. Adam barges in and throws a blankie over Kwak. Unfortunately he doesn’t throw anything over Dixie. Try water. Maybe she’ll melt.
Uh, oh, it’s Binx. Gawd, I actually stayed awake for this.
Binx wonders why Kendall is freaked out that her husband (who is really in love with Myrtle) wouldn’t care if someone was buried alive because if it were Spike or Mimo, wouldn’t she do the same? Binxie’s halo blinds Kendall and renders her stupid. Kendall says, “Yeah, I guess then it would be okey dokey, whatever”.
Cue April in Paris. (How about October in Paris? Please?)
Commercial
Another Commercial
Oh here’s another commercial. I’m desperately trying to keep my eyes open. It’s…. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ, not easy. I'm searching for Xanax. None in sight. Oh nooooooooooooo.
Oh wait! More stuff happens, but I located my Xanax. So, nevermind
Now we have Babe wearing a giant condom. Hopefully this is a PSA. Nope, wait, she wants a real marriage with JR. Well, wearing a giant condom is a good start. She tells JR that if he quits trying to kill her that she will quit sleeping with… oh well, it was worth a shot.
Cue I’m So Tired.
Commercial
Previews:
David smacks Dixie up alongside the head. Just because I said so.
Emma hooks up with Spike. They run away to Napa Valley where they find out they are really Orsinis and get to go barefoot and stomp grapes. They think it’s a heck of a lot better than Grape-flavored Kool-Aid.
Spike realizes he’s now 12 and Emma realizes she’s a figment of the writers’ imaginations.
David still doesn’t answer my phone calls.
Neither does Jonathon.
Ryan realizes that Annie Greensprings has a big secret. She really drinks Boones Farm Strawberry Wine with a Carlo Rossi chaser.
Dixie decides it was all a bad nightmare and goes back to Pigeon Holler to open a Roach Motel. She’s her first customer.
Tad still thinks burying Madden was a nifty idea and Ray Gardner would’ve been proud. Ruth would too, if only they could find her.
I realize why I don’t watch this show anymore.
Sorry, you guys. I tried. But it's getting DANGED hard to watch this stuff.
How nice. Colby is dressed and ready for Clown School. She even tries to enlist Josh because they need one more clown to be crammed into the little car. Colby SCREECHES that she needs him to pass her final exam. He’s not buying it.
Josh reminds her that he already has several vocations on his resume and that thanks to her, Statutory Rapist is now listed as the most recent one. Besides, he can’t wear purple stripes and suspenders as they make his hips look big.
Cue Cathy’s Clown.
Oh now we have Kwak spewing crap to Dixie Doodle. Kwak doesn’t feel well. Dixie Doodle doesn’t act well. Adam barges in and throws a blankie over Kwak. Unfortunately he doesn’t throw anything over Dixie. Try water. Maybe she’ll melt.
Uh, oh, it’s Binx. Gawd, I actually stayed awake for this.
Binx wonders why Kendall is freaked out that her husband (who is really in love with Myrtle) wouldn’t care if someone was buried alive because if it were Spike or Mimo, wouldn’t she do the same? Binxie’s halo blinds Kendall and renders her stupid. Kendall says, “Yeah, I guess then it would be okey dokey, whatever”.
Cue April in Paris. (How about October in Paris? Please?)
Commercial
Another Commercial
Oh here’s another commercial. I’m desperately trying to keep my eyes open. It’s…. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ, not easy. I'm searching for Xanax. None in sight. Oh nooooooooooooo.
Oh wait! More stuff happens, but I located my Xanax. So, nevermind
Now we have Babe wearing a giant condom. Hopefully this is a PSA. Nope, wait, she wants a real marriage with JR. Well, wearing a giant condom is a good start. She tells JR that if he quits trying to kill her that she will quit sleeping with… oh well, it was worth a shot.
Cue I’m So Tired.
Commercial
Previews:
David smacks Dixie up alongside the head. Just because I said so.
Emma hooks up with Spike. They run away to Napa Valley where they find out they are really Orsinis and get to go barefoot and stomp grapes. They think it’s a heck of a lot better than Grape-flavored Kool-Aid.
Spike realizes he’s now 12 and Emma realizes she’s a figment of the writers’ imaginations.
David still doesn’t answer my phone calls.
Neither does Jonathon.
Ryan realizes that Annie Greensprings has a big secret. She really drinks Boones Farm Strawberry Wine with a Carlo Rossi chaser.
Dixie decides it was all a bad nightmare and goes back to Pigeon Holler to open a Roach Motel. She’s her first customer.
Tad still thinks burying Madden was a nifty idea and Ray Gardner would’ve been proud. Ruth would too, if only they could find her.
I realize why I don’t watch this show anymore.
Sorry, you guys. I tried. But it's getting DANGED hard to watch this stuff.