|
Post by Liz on Dec 20, 2006 12:02:41 GMT -5
NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN
DAMNITOL Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
EMPTYNESTROGEN Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
ST. MOMMA'S WORT Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
PEPTOBIMBO Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
DUMBEROL When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
FLIPITOR Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
MENICILLIN Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "
BUYAGRA Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
JACKASSPIRIN Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
ANTI-TALKSIDENT A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
NAGAMENT When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.
|
|
|
Post by Chris on Dec 20, 2006 13:28:33 GMT -5
;D ;D Some of you guys on here need the ANTI-TALKSIDENT for random people that tend to share their stories with you!
|
|
|
Post by Liz on Dec 20, 2006 13:55:54 GMT -5
Poor Priscilla!! ;D ;D
|
|
|
Post by kallietop on Dec 20, 2006 18:02:32 GMT -5
liz - that is soo funny ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D i hope some research labs are really working on some of those!! ;D ;D
|
|
|
Post by zoezeppelin on Dec 20, 2006 21:00:23 GMT -5
LMAO! ;D I could go for some DAMNITOL right now! ;D
|
|
|
Post by Liz on Dec 20, 2006 21:02:09 GMT -5
I would love some:
ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days
I'm not depressed, but I could sure go for the kids being unconscious for two days! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
|
|
|
Post by trixie on Dec 20, 2006 21:11:23 GMT -5
Liz! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Those were perfect! I actually take Damnitall. Extra Strength. So far it's lasted a whole year. Oh and I also take Blameitall - and it's not my fault. And then I took, um, oh, what the heck is the name of it?? Oh yeah, Fuggetaboutitall (but my insurance only pays for the generic brand which is called HUH?). And it worked. I think. I don't really remember.
|
|
|
Post by Beth on Dec 20, 2006 21:22:42 GMT -5
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Jackasspirin ;D ;D ;D
|
|
|
Post by kallietop on Dec 21, 2006 22:17:32 GMT -5
I would love some: ST. MOMMA'S WORT Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days I'm not depressed, but I could sure go for the kids being unconscious for two days! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D please tell me it works for tweens!!!!!!!
|
|