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Post by Chris on Dec 28, 2006 16:58:00 GMT -5
Unless I can check in tonight, this is my last post of the year. I'm leaving town tomorrow for that wedding and won't be back for a few days. In case I can't check in tonight... have a wonderful 2006... be safe and I love you guys!!!!
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Post by kallietop on Dec 28, 2006 17:08:03 GMT -5
be safe sweeti!!!! have a blast!!!! we will miss you!!!!
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Post by sweetmuffin48 on Dec 28, 2006 17:09:39 GMT -5
Great Cartoon!!! Happy New Year!!! Hope the wedding is beautiful
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Post by zoezeppelin on Dec 28, 2006 20:07:01 GMT -5
We'll miss you Plat! Be safe and have a wonderful New Year! Give Aden a kissy for me! Love ya!
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Post by Soaper on Dec 28, 2006 21:16:54 GMT -5
Have a HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
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Post by Chris on Dec 28, 2006 21:23:51 GMT -5
Yay, I got a minute to log on. Aden is at his grandma's and I'm packing. Can I just say... babies need a ridiculous amount of luggage???
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Post by Liz on Dec 28, 2006 22:10:06 GMT -5
Plat, have a great time and I hope you feel better!! HAPPY NEW YEAR, and be safe!!!
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Post by Amy on Dec 28, 2006 22:18:50 GMT -5
Have a blast, Plat! And have a great New Year! I'm sure your toast will be wonderful.
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Brandon
In Full Revenge Mode
SC's "Guiding Light"
Posts: 2,112
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Post by Brandon on Dec 28, 2006 23:23:40 GMT -5
Have a great time, Plat!!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!
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Post by Beth on Dec 29, 2006 0:07:32 GMT -5
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Post by cruiselady on Dec 29, 2006 12:40:14 GMT -5
Oh no the toast!!! Good luck Plat and have a safe trip!!!
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Post by Amy on Dec 29, 2006 14:05:44 GMT -5
Dang, I found these too late to help Plat! Okay, I got rid of the link I posted here because I just noticed some of the really offensive ads on the page. Sorry to anyone who was offended. I thought the wedding toasts were funny---but some of the stuff/adds along the side---not so much. I'll try and just post the toasts.
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Post by Amy on Dec 29, 2006 14:31:08 GMT -5
Really Bad Wedding Toasts I found on the Internet.
To the beautiful fetus and determined shotgun owner who brought us here today!
To Suzanne, the chunkiest anorexic I know!
To a thrilling lifetime together spent watching thousands upon thousands of hours of television!
To K-Y Jelly, and lots of it!
To Clyde Poppenhoffer's Krazy Kazoo Orkestra, whose dignified rendition of "Just the Two of Us" brought hot tears of nostalgia to our eyes!
To getting so drunk that we all swap wives for the night, then feel so ashamed we never talk again!
May your goiter always smell of roses, and your upcoming rhinoplasty not transform you into a piggishly deformed freak.
To Starfire – may you always rest happy in the delusion that Tom's of Maine products control your B.O.
To my parents, who murdered each other after thirty years of thundering boredom and misunderstanding!
What can I say about the groom? He's loving, smart, and if it weren't for his fundamentalist Christian family, he and I would be running a Bed & Breakfast in Massachusetts.
To John, a guy for whom cutting three monthly alimony checks apparently just isn't enough!
May Cossacks with fresh pedicures dance merrily in your succulent borscht!
To Fred, a real miserable bastard with some seriously creamy thighs!
I like big butts and I cannot lie!
To Steve and Amelia – may your so-called love eventually ripen into violence.
Here's to being homeless, morbidly obese, and riddled with impetigo!
To peace in the Midwest!
So here's to Trixxi – may this, your fourth octogenarian husband, actually will you enough cash so you can finally retire from porn.
May your leg be gruesomely severed in a work-related accident, allowing you to suckle at the luxurious teat of Federal benefits!
May Allah protect you from vindictive hunchbacks!
May your horse run as swiftly as an idiot's fleeting thoughts, and may the Dingoes of Prosperity drink from your finger bowl!
To my lovely new wife – may my brother continue to give you earth-shattering orgasms.
May your wet nurse stay milky, and your home tutor never fall ill from dyslexia!
May all your babies be born with healthy flippers.
May your domesticated beasts produce compost more fertile than than my promiscuous first wife Camille.
To veal – the cutest pack of protein on four immature legs kept anemic in a tiny cage until it's heartlessly butchered by a thick-necked, wife-beating redneck.
And to Def Lepard, whose rocking tunes remind us what love really means.
To Jack Daniels, who convinced most of us to even bother showing up at this lovely, wonderful family reunion with the open bar.
May all your gay cousins be named Miguel.
May you never be serenaded by a Mongolian throat singer.
To Audrey and Sam – may the inseparable bond of your union not spell an end to our occasional threesomes!
And may your recently widowed mother-in-law not move into your new spare bedroom, permeating it with that sour-smelling geriatric funk.
To Tom and Katie — May you both achieve the highest level of Operating Thetan, and may the galaxy's dark lizard-like warlords quake before you and your Ayn Rand-meets-Flash Gordon tax-shelter cult.
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gibraltariana
Just Met Jonathan
Now I know why all villages want an idiot - they're fun!
Posts: 214
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Post by gibraltariana on Dec 29, 2006 16:05:06 GMT -5
I know I'm late but good luck Plat! Also, love the toasts!
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Post by Chris on Dec 31, 2006 20:51:36 GMT -5
Guess who's back!!!
Woo hoo, I made it before New Years. I came back a night early. I have been sick, sick, sick all week and I think I need to rest my body. I've been going non-stop for awhile and that may be one of the reasons I can't seem to get better.
Anywho... the toast ideas were lovely Amy. I could have used those. I was an idiot. Well, I thought I was an idiot, but everyone kept coming up to me all night and telling me how great the toast was and how they were moved to tears. I'm like, "Are you kidding me? Were you hearing the same toast I was? I called the bride by the wrong freaking name!!!"
Yep. No lie. I called my best friend of 9 years by the wrong name. But other than that it went swimmingly. I cried during my toast.... but not as much as the Best Man cried! HA!
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