Post by trixie on Sept 4, 2006 16:06:29 GMT -5
Whispering into their microphones, which are turned ALL THE WAY UP, Aiden and Jonathan (ssshhhhh) narrate the first scene of AMC:
Aiden: Okay, Adam is about ready to tee off. But he can’t find his balls. Hmmm, there we go, KWAK has them. Spot on!
Jonathan: Yes she has. Stupid Bitch. But at least his putter still looks nice and straight.
Aiden: And it isn’t even spotted.
Jonathan: Yeah. But he only got one ball from KWAK. Let’s hope he doesn’t slice.
Aiden: Bloody hell, THAT would hurt. Poor bahstard. Does he get a mulligan if he does?
Jonathan: Um, well, that would be up to the SB holding his spare.
Aiden: I guess no mulligan, then.
Adam tees off and the spectators all applaud as Colby, Sydney and Sean drive by at warp speed in a golf cart, which would be about 5 miles an hour and drive straight into the pond and drown. More good news - the beer was saved.
Commercial
Aiden: Oh, next up we have that blithering winging pommy bahstard JR up and about and pulling out his nine iron. Blimey. He’s winging about with a nine iron on the second hole. What an idjit. But he has a cute bum.
Jonathon: I can’t understand A WORD YOU’RE SAYING. But he made it through the windmill. Hmmmm HEY BATTER, BATTER, BATTER!
Spectators: SSSHHHHH!
Jonathan: Stupid spectating bitches. Okay, next up is Jamie Martin. Now there’s someone I should’ve brought to the cave with me. But, I had a tumor and wasn’t picking my victims properly.
Aiden: True, JonBoy. But now you’ve had the bad cut out. Okay, so Laimie addresses the ball but forgets to put proper postage on it, tees off – and what’s that he’s using? A tire iron?
Jonathon: No I believe it’s a LEAD PIPE!
Aiden: Well, whatever he used, he’s off whacking in the bushes to find his ball.
Jonathon: I love narrating this sport!
The spectators all applaud as Jamie disappears into the woods and another golf cart barrels by and crashes into a Port-A-Potty.
Jonathon: Hey I think Babe and Julia were in that cart.
Aiden: No loss, mate, I never got to shag either of them. At least, I don’t think so. You never know, though, do you?
Commercial
Jonathon: Oh, next up is that Slater guy. He misses. He smirks. He gets his men to do it.
You know, he once beat me up, before I got bonked on the head with a book but then was able to do golf commentary.
Aiden: Well, that’s not saying much is it now, mate? Okay, now we have David Hayward about to tee off. What’s that? He’s injecting the ball with something.
Jonathon: Hmmm, perhaps it’s Viagra.
Aiden: No, he’d use that on his putter.
Jonathon: Not bad, a hole in one!
Aiden: There are way too many puns I could say to THAT remark!
Jonathon: No shit.
The spectators oooh and ahhhhh as another golf cart whizzes by and brakes right in front of the Nineteenth Hole.
Four women emerge, hair all disheveled.
Aiden: Say, look at the Sheilas!
Jonathon: Stupid Bitches.
Aiden: But it looks like Myrtle, Ruth, Opal and Brooke.
Jonathon: Then I take back what I said. Hey, let’s join them for some Bloody Mary’s and skip the rest of this commentary!
Aiden: You bet! I think a few grogs and snogs are in order here. Plus this golf stuff is bloody boring!
Jonathon: Yeah. And I STILL can’t understand a word you’re saying!
Commercial
Uhmmm, we had golf on all day today. Just in case you didn't notice. And I was really bored.
Sorry.
Aiden: Okay, Adam is about ready to tee off. But he can’t find his balls. Hmmm, there we go, KWAK has them. Spot on!
Jonathan: Yes she has. Stupid Bitch. But at least his putter still looks nice and straight.
Aiden: And it isn’t even spotted.
Jonathan: Yeah. But he only got one ball from KWAK. Let’s hope he doesn’t slice.
Aiden: Bloody hell, THAT would hurt. Poor bahstard. Does he get a mulligan if he does?
Jonathan: Um, well, that would be up to the SB holding his spare.
Aiden: I guess no mulligan, then.
Adam tees off and the spectators all applaud as Colby, Sydney and Sean drive by at warp speed in a golf cart, which would be about 5 miles an hour and drive straight into the pond and drown. More good news - the beer was saved.
Commercial
Aiden: Oh, next up we have that blithering winging pommy bahstard JR up and about and pulling out his nine iron. Blimey. He’s winging about with a nine iron on the second hole. What an idjit. But he has a cute bum.
Jonathon: I can’t understand A WORD YOU’RE SAYING. But he made it through the windmill. Hmmmm HEY BATTER, BATTER, BATTER!
Spectators: SSSHHHHH!
Jonathan: Stupid spectating bitches. Okay, next up is Jamie Martin. Now there’s someone I should’ve brought to the cave with me. But, I had a tumor and wasn’t picking my victims properly.
Aiden: True, JonBoy. But now you’ve had the bad cut out. Okay, so Laimie addresses the ball but forgets to put proper postage on it, tees off – and what’s that he’s using? A tire iron?
Jonathon: No I believe it’s a LEAD PIPE!
Aiden: Well, whatever he used, he’s off whacking in the bushes to find his ball.
Jonathon: I love narrating this sport!
The spectators all applaud as Jamie disappears into the woods and another golf cart barrels by and crashes into a Port-A-Potty.
Jonathon: Hey I think Babe and Julia were in that cart.
Aiden: No loss, mate, I never got to shag either of them. At least, I don’t think so. You never know, though, do you?
Commercial
Jonathon: Oh, next up is that Slater guy. He misses. He smirks. He gets his men to do it.
You know, he once beat me up, before I got bonked on the head with a book but then was able to do golf commentary.
Aiden: Well, that’s not saying much is it now, mate? Okay, now we have David Hayward about to tee off. What’s that? He’s injecting the ball with something.
Jonathon: Hmmm, perhaps it’s Viagra.
Aiden: No, he’d use that on his putter.
Jonathon: Not bad, a hole in one!
Aiden: There are way too many puns I could say to THAT remark!
Jonathon: No shit.
The spectators oooh and ahhhhh as another golf cart whizzes by and brakes right in front of the Nineteenth Hole.
Four women emerge, hair all disheveled.
Aiden: Say, look at the Sheilas!
Jonathon: Stupid Bitches.
Aiden: But it looks like Myrtle, Ruth, Opal and Brooke.
Jonathon: Then I take back what I said. Hey, let’s join them for some Bloody Mary’s and skip the rest of this commentary!
Aiden: You bet! I think a few grogs and snogs are in order here. Plus this golf stuff is bloody boring!
Jonathon: Yeah. And I STILL can’t understand a word you’re saying!
Commercial
Uhmmm, we had golf on all day today. Just in case you didn't notice. And I was really bored.
Sorry.