Post by trixie on Feb 23, 2007 19:35:29 GMT -5
I'm back with another tortuous rendition of AMC.
Deep Breath. Trying Zen. Yoga (OWWW). I give up. Big bottle of Tequilla. (Cue Tequilla, followed by Louie Louie because I could never understand the lyrics, although I think J Edgar (and possibly Dick Nixon) thought they did. Perhaps they could translate AMC for me in that case. Oh, never mind. They’re dead. Too bad. I think J Edgar might’ve liked Zoe.
Okay…
Tad is chewing someone out on the phone. “I SAID NO ANCHOVIES”. Aiden is equally annoyed because he wanted those anchovies and now has to pay extra for them.
Bianca shows Ryan the biggest button ever made and Ryan runs to get his clown nose and realizes they’re both the same size. Spike puts two and two together and realizes he has no idea what it equals because he’s still a baby. But if he could add, he’d say it’s still stupid. Cue Something Stupid.
Zach finally locates his stones. Sadly he has no idea what to do with them
Opening credits
Kendall says to Zach You were right. Zach smirks and says Of course, purple and pink is a hideous combination. I know because I used to wear it before I was legally declared dead. That’ll teach me. Cue Shock the Monkey.
Erica and JR – Um, they’re arguing about who’s a bigger tramp. I think Babe is mentioned. Erica’s shirt is in a scene all by itself. Erica’s shirt wins the biggest tramp award but promptly hops a plane back to the San Diego Zoo.
Oh, but wait, JR tells Erica she likes to shoot low. I really don’t know how to respond to that one. Um, well, YES SHE DOES. Cue Peter Gabriel’s Sledgehammer. Ouch.
So now she’s juggling husbands. She’s good, she’s got ten of them going and she hasn’t dropped one yet. Hey, I just noticed, Ryan is also included in her juggling act. Plus she snuck in a bowling ball.
Erica also tells JR that, neener, neener, Babe liked Josh better. She knows because Josh showed Erica the note, written in crayon from Babe. It said “I kinda sorta like joshy because I think jr might have cooties.” And all the “I’s” were dotted with little cow faces.
Erica is appalled at the grammatical errors in the note, but JR is more appalled that he has cooties. Or possibly worse.
Cue the B-52s, Rock Lobster
Commercial.
Okay, Aiden, Tad and Jamie – Aiden and Tad indulge in foreplay consisting of shoving each other. To Jamie’s chagrin (which is French for “flatulance”) they kiss and make up. Jamie forgets his chagrinness when they invite him along to see Forever Tango. But only if he doesn’t eat any Beanie Weenies beforehand. He agrees. Thank gawd.
Cue Love Is In The Air
I think there was a Dixie mention, but I missed it. Also something about a Psycho that can’t be stopped. Perhaps they were speaking of BS Fronzie. Frankly I had some mac and cheese to check on and couldn’t be bothered. Cue That’s Life.
Continuing on…
Bianca with Ryan – Bianca obviously raided my late grandmother’s closet and is wearing her coat and carrying her purse. I wonder if she has a picture of me and my brother inside the purse. And a hankie. My grandmother never went anywhere without a hankie.
Whoops, I blinked and now Binxie has cleavage. My grandmother would be so proud.
Cue Little Old Lady From Pasadena
Commercial
Ryan says Derek is a very good cop. A bolt of lightning comes out from the sky and strikes him in the head. He doesn’t die, but he goes to the PVPD and beats the shit out of Derek. I gave that a standing ovation. Too bad I was sleeping when that happened.
Zoe and Jr in hospital. I don’t have the stomach for this.
Commercial and then some other stuff.
Hmmm, Zach now stealthily removes two remote controls from underneath what looks like a coffin covered in MY OTHER GRANDMOTHER’S ugly sofa blanket. He gives one to Kendall . Cue Dueling Banjoes.
Oh, he also tells her to take it easy on room service. Especially if she’s not ordering any food.
Cue I’m So Tired of having A Dead Skunk In The Middle of the Road going through my head everytime I try to watch this show.
Previews:
The Pope, Tony Blair and George W. Bush are all leaving Babe’s funeral. The Pope says, I never said She Was A Walking Miracle. People need to brush up on their Latin. I Said It Was a Miracle She Could Walk and Chew Gum At the Same Time. Jeesh.
Tony says, I know what you mean, your Popeness, I merely said she had a rack on her and guys should leave her alone.
George W., Tony, THAT’S what you meant? Oh, well, that makes A LOT more sense. Never mind.
George Sr. I really miss her calling me the Bigger Bush.
The End.
Deep Breath. Trying Zen. Yoga (OWWW). I give up. Big bottle of Tequilla. (Cue Tequilla, followed by Louie Louie because I could never understand the lyrics, although I think J Edgar (and possibly Dick Nixon) thought they did. Perhaps they could translate AMC for me in that case. Oh, never mind. They’re dead. Too bad. I think J Edgar might’ve liked Zoe.
Okay…
Tad is chewing someone out on the phone. “I SAID NO ANCHOVIES”. Aiden is equally annoyed because he wanted those anchovies and now has to pay extra for them.
Bianca shows Ryan the biggest button ever made and Ryan runs to get his clown nose and realizes they’re both the same size. Spike puts two and two together and realizes he has no idea what it equals because he’s still a baby. But if he could add, he’d say it’s still stupid. Cue Something Stupid.
Zach finally locates his stones. Sadly he has no idea what to do with them
Opening credits
Kendall says to Zach You were right. Zach smirks and says Of course, purple and pink is a hideous combination. I know because I used to wear it before I was legally declared dead. That’ll teach me. Cue Shock the Monkey.
Erica and JR – Um, they’re arguing about who’s a bigger tramp. I think Babe is mentioned. Erica’s shirt is in a scene all by itself. Erica’s shirt wins the biggest tramp award but promptly hops a plane back to the San Diego Zoo.
Oh, but wait, JR tells Erica she likes to shoot low. I really don’t know how to respond to that one. Um, well, YES SHE DOES. Cue Peter Gabriel’s Sledgehammer. Ouch.
So now she’s juggling husbands. She’s good, she’s got ten of them going and she hasn’t dropped one yet. Hey, I just noticed, Ryan is also included in her juggling act. Plus she snuck in a bowling ball.
Erica also tells JR that, neener, neener, Babe liked Josh better. She knows because Josh showed Erica the note, written in crayon from Babe. It said “I kinda sorta like joshy because I think jr might have cooties.” And all the “I’s” were dotted with little cow faces.
Erica is appalled at the grammatical errors in the note, but JR is more appalled that he has cooties. Or possibly worse.
Cue the B-52s, Rock Lobster
Commercial.
Okay, Aiden, Tad and Jamie – Aiden and Tad indulge in foreplay consisting of shoving each other. To Jamie’s chagrin (which is French for “flatulance”) they kiss and make up. Jamie forgets his chagrinness when they invite him along to see Forever Tango. But only if he doesn’t eat any Beanie Weenies beforehand. He agrees. Thank gawd.
Cue Love Is In The Air
I think there was a Dixie mention, but I missed it. Also something about a Psycho that can’t be stopped. Perhaps they were speaking of BS Fronzie. Frankly I had some mac and cheese to check on and couldn’t be bothered. Cue That’s Life.
Continuing on…
Bianca with Ryan – Bianca obviously raided my late grandmother’s closet and is wearing her coat and carrying her purse. I wonder if she has a picture of me and my brother inside the purse. And a hankie. My grandmother never went anywhere without a hankie.
Whoops, I blinked and now Binxie has cleavage. My grandmother would be so proud.
Cue Little Old Lady From Pasadena
Commercial
Ryan says Derek is a very good cop. A bolt of lightning comes out from the sky and strikes him in the head. He doesn’t die, but he goes to the PVPD and beats the shit out of Derek. I gave that a standing ovation. Too bad I was sleeping when that happened.
Zoe and Jr in hospital. I don’t have the stomach for this.
Commercial and then some other stuff.
Hmmm, Zach now stealthily removes two remote controls from underneath what looks like a coffin covered in MY OTHER GRANDMOTHER’S ugly sofa blanket. He gives one to Kendall . Cue Dueling Banjoes.
Oh, he also tells her to take it easy on room service. Especially if she’s not ordering any food.
Cue I’m So Tired of having A Dead Skunk In The Middle of the Road going through my head everytime I try to watch this show.
Previews:
The Pope, Tony Blair and George W. Bush are all leaving Babe’s funeral. The Pope says, I never said She Was A Walking Miracle. People need to brush up on their Latin. I Said It Was a Miracle She Could Walk and Chew Gum At the Same Time. Jeesh.
Tony says, I know what you mean, your Popeness, I merely said she had a rack on her and guys should leave her alone.
George W., Tony, THAT’S what you meant? Oh, well, that makes A LOT more sense. Never mind.
George Sr. I really miss her calling me the Bigger Bush.
The End.