Post by trixie on Oct 17, 2006 16:24:16 GMT -5
Don't ask me why, I just did
Colby, on her way to Clown School refuses to pay for her meal and Dr. Dave introduces himself as the man who performed a very up-close and personal gynecological procedure on her mother. Colby said she’s heard that pickup line before and it didn’t work then and it’s not going to work now. Dave then pulls out his…
wallet. Colby actually screeches some good advice for once by telling him to take his said daughter resulting from a date that lasted long enough for her momma to be impregnated, which happened when she was cleaning out her sock drawer, and drive them to the town dump. David considers it if it includes the suspenders.
Cue Go Away Little Girl
Jeff and Erica. Jeff thinks the multi-still-married, bigamy-committing, past-and-current-adulteress and former baby knapper is just perfect for his walking, talking fetus son and beams as he contemplates the children they won’t have but will come back someday and make him a proud grandpa.
Erica agrees that it DOES look good on paper.
Hmmm, Jonathon, Dr. Dave and Tad all in one room. They exchange phone numbers and movie preferences and going to see Bette Midler. They left their shirts on.
Cue Call Me (by Blondie)
Commercial
Zach and Kendall. Kendall asks what Zach wants. Zach smirks. Kendall understands and picks up the phone. “Hello, Mother. Can you come over and make Zach a sandwich? Oh, and wear your Vegas showgirl outfit. No, he hasn’t shaved yet. Okay, I’ll tell him.”
“Sorry, Zach. She said something about pigs and flying. What else do you want?”
As Zach continues to smirk dejectedly in his enigmatic, someone-slap-that-smug-look-off-his-face endearing way of his, Kendall picks up the phone again. “Myrtle? Can you come over? Oh and don’t forget your orange lipstick and donuts. What? No, he hasn’t shaved yet. What? Yeah he still has donut crumbs in the corners of his mouth. Oh, okay, I’ll tell him.”
“Sorry, Zach. She said something about people wanting ice water somewhere and besides, she’s getting a bikini wax. So, is there anything else you want? Hey! Do I have to whap you up alongside the head to get you to admit it? Come on, Zach JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU REALLY, REALLY WANT!”
He looks at her again with painful wistfulness. Sadly, Kendall sighs, picks up the phone and says “Ryan? Yes. Oh, and he said don’t forget the clown nose.”
Cue You Can't Always Get What You Want
Commercial
Wait. Here we have Dr. Dave and Tad together at last. Tad tells David to leave Dixie alone and take him instead. Dr. David stares into his beer glass and says what the hell. At least Tad won’t mooch off of him. Of course he may bury him alive someday, but hey, he has nothing better to do thanks to TIIC. So okay, Tad.
Cue Strangers in the Night
Commercial
WARNING! WARNING!
Zach and Kendall in bed, apparently naked, but Kendall has the sheet strategically tucked and knotted tightly around herself. I myself do this when I am in bed with a guy I just supposedly had wild, unhibited, unabandoned sex with after I found out he prefers the father of my son, an-ex Carney girl and my own mother to me. Not to mention a once-dead ex-wife of a once-loved-cad-but-now-an-ill-conceived-plot-device named Tad. As Kendall reaches over the side of the bed, Zach asks what she’s looking for and she pulls out some cream for the stubble burn on her face, a razor and some official-looking documents. Zach ignores all but the documents. He smirks. He nods. They rip up the paper. They look happy. Kendall says I’m glad you ripped up our divorce papers. Zach says, What divorce papers? That was my contract.
Cue It Never Rains in Southern California
Commercial
Stuff happened with Josh, Babe and Jr, but I forget what it was. Thank goodness.
Previews:
Zach shaves. But decides to keep the donut crumbs.
Kendall can’t figure out how to get out of that sheet and has to go to Fusion that way. No one notices.
Adam and JR decide that since they lost the family jewels they should become buffalo hunters and change their last name to Lipshitz.
Erica decides to call Jack then says, Nah, no one remembers him anyway.
Babe, Josh and Jr go to see a revival of Paint Your Wagon.
Colby, on her way to Clown School refuses to pay for her meal and Dr. Dave introduces himself as the man who performed a very up-close and personal gynecological procedure on her mother. Colby said she’s heard that pickup line before and it didn’t work then and it’s not going to work now. Dave then pulls out his…
wallet. Colby actually screeches some good advice for once by telling him to take his said daughter resulting from a date that lasted long enough for her momma to be impregnated, which happened when she was cleaning out her sock drawer, and drive them to the town dump. David considers it if it includes the suspenders.
Cue Go Away Little Girl
Jeff and Erica. Jeff thinks the multi-still-married, bigamy-committing, past-and-current-adulteress and former baby knapper is just perfect for his walking, talking fetus son and beams as he contemplates the children they won’t have but will come back someday and make him a proud grandpa.
Erica agrees that it DOES look good on paper.
Hmmm, Jonathon, Dr. Dave and Tad all in one room. They exchange phone numbers and movie preferences and going to see Bette Midler. They left their shirts on.
Cue Call Me (by Blondie)
Commercial
Zach and Kendall. Kendall asks what Zach wants. Zach smirks. Kendall understands and picks up the phone. “Hello, Mother. Can you come over and make Zach a sandwich? Oh, and wear your Vegas showgirl outfit. No, he hasn’t shaved yet. Okay, I’ll tell him.”
“Sorry, Zach. She said something about pigs and flying. What else do you want?”
As Zach continues to smirk dejectedly in his enigmatic, someone-slap-that-smug-look-off-his-face endearing way of his, Kendall picks up the phone again. “Myrtle? Can you come over? Oh and don’t forget your orange lipstick and donuts. What? No, he hasn’t shaved yet. What? Yeah he still has donut crumbs in the corners of his mouth. Oh, okay, I’ll tell him.”
“Sorry, Zach. She said something about people wanting ice water somewhere and besides, she’s getting a bikini wax. So, is there anything else you want? Hey! Do I have to whap you up alongside the head to get you to admit it? Come on, Zach JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU REALLY, REALLY WANT!”
He looks at her again with painful wistfulness. Sadly, Kendall sighs, picks up the phone and says “Ryan? Yes. Oh, and he said don’t forget the clown nose.”
Cue You Can't Always Get What You Want
Commercial
Wait. Here we have Dr. Dave and Tad together at last. Tad tells David to leave Dixie alone and take him instead. Dr. David stares into his beer glass and says what the hell. At least Tad won’t mooch off of him. Of course he may bury him alive someday, but hey, he has nothing better to do thanks to TIIC. So okay, Tad.
Cue Strangers in the Night
Commercial
WARNING! WARNING!
Zach and Kendall in bed, apparently naked, but Kendall has the sheet strategically tucked and knotted tightly around herself. I myself do this when I am in bed with a guy I just supposedly had wild, unhibited, unabandoned sex with after I found out he prefers the father of my son, an-ex Carney girl and my own mother to me. Not to mention a once-dead ex-wife of a once-loved-cad-but-now-an-ill-conceived-plot-device named Tad. As Kendall reaches over the side of the bed, Zach asks what she’s looking for and she pulls out some cream for the stubble burn on her face, a razor and some official-looking documents. Zach ignores all but the documents. He smirks. He nods. They rip up the paper. They look happy. Kendall says I’m glad you ripped up our divorce papers. Zach says, What divorce papers? That was my contract.
Cue It Never Rains in Southern California
Commercial
Stuff happened with Josh, Babe and Jr, but I forget what it was. Thank goodness.
Previews:
Zach shaves. But decides to keep the donut crumbs.
Kendall can’t figure out how to get out of that sheet and has to go to Fusion that way. No one notices.
Adam and JR decide that since they lost the family jewels they should become buffalo hunters and change their last name to Lipshitz.
Erica decides to call Jack then says, Nah, no one remembers him anyway.
Babe, Josh and Jr go to see a revival of Paint Your Wagon.