Post by trixie on Nov 12, 2006 21:55:35 GMT -5
Dr. Dave’s Buh Bye Speech:
David Hayward’s face moves in for a close-up. He needs more mascara but what the hell-
“Okay, first up is Babe. She’s NOT my daughter. KWAK actually slept with my roomie whose name was Ralph Lipshitz. Therefore, Babe is Arabella Lipshitz. Got that? Okay, Good.
Now, for that moron, Junior, you go ahead and keep trying to murder Babe. I hope one day you succeed. Here’s a hint. DON’T go for her head. There’s nothing there. Trust me.
KWAK – well, you’re name is your destiny. Go forth and um, DO SOMETHING. For Gawd’s sake. But please don’t, uh oh, too late.
Tad – I’ve always loved you. Even when you had really, really bad hair. Sorry it never worked out. I mean us, not your hair. Although that was sad, too.
Dixie –
I never loved you; I just wanted to get closer to Tad. Also Emma is not Kate. And I liked Di better than you. She is hot. Also, I think Tad liked her, too.
Palmer –
How are those heart pills working for you? Been on the show lately? Nope. Didn’t think so.
Adam – Guess who performed a secret castration? By the way, Colby and KWAK are looking for you. Run like the wind.
Dr. Joe – Thanks for your support. And the bucket. I always thought the mop was a nice touch, too.
Erica – It was fun. But now you sort of like JEFF MARTIN? Okay, I take back the fun part. Go for it. Eleven works well in Vegas.
Jeff – What the hell are you thinking? Okay, you’re not. You’ve been in the African bush too long whacking, um whatever one whacks in the bush. So Erica is perfect and wonderful and the reason you’re in town is because Erica was so self-sacrificing in aborting her first not-born-and then-later-born child to further her hysterically unrealistic modeling career.
Jamie – Stick with Julia. Trust me on this one.
The camera then zooms in on Dr. Dave and there’s a big explosion. Miraculously, Myrtle, Opal, Ruth, Brooke and Dave are unharmed. They go behind the cameras and strut to the next studio where they start their own soap opera called I’ll Be Damned, Season One.
The End.
David Hayward’s face moves in for a close-up. He needs more mascara but what the hell-
“Okay, first up is Babe. She’s NOT my daughter. KWAK actually slept with my roomie whose name was Ralph Lipshitz. Therefore, Babe is Arabella Lipshitz. Got that? Okay, Good.
Now, for that moron, Junior, you go ahead and keep trying to murder Babe. I hope one day you succeed. Here’s a hint. DON’T go for her head. There’s nothing there. Trust me.
KWAK – well, you’re name is your destiny. Go forth and um, DO SOMETHING. For Gawd’s sake. But please don’t, uh oh, too late.
Tad – I’ve always loved you. Even when you had really, really bad hair. Sorry it never worked out. I mean us, not your hair. Although that was sad, too.
Dixie –
I never loved you; I just wanted to get closer to Tad. Also Emma is not Kate. And I liked Di better than you. She is hot. Also, I think Tad liked her, too.
Palmer –
How are those heart pills working for you? Been on the show lately? Nope. Didn’t think so.
Adam – Guess who performed a secret castration? By the way, Colby and KWAK are looking for you. Run like the wind.
Dr. Joe – Thanks for your support. And the bucket. I always thought the mop was a nice touch, too.
Erica – It was fun. But now you sort of like JEFF MARTIN? Okay, I take back the fun part. Go for it. Eleven works well in Vegas.
Jeff – What the hell are you thinking? Okay, you’re not. You’ve been in the African bush too long whacking, um whatever one whacks in the bush. So Erica is perfect and wonderful and the reason you’re in town is because Erica was so self-sacrificing in aborting her first not-born-and then-later-born child to further her hysterically unrealistic modeling career.
Jamie – Stick with Julia. Trust me on this one.
The camera then zooms in on Dr. Dave and there’s a big explosion. Miraculously, Myrtle, Opal, Ruth, Brooke and Dave are unharmed. They go behind the cameras and strut to the next studio where they start their own soap opera called I’ll Be Damned, Season One.
The End.