Post by trixie on Feb 2, 2007 18:54:56 GMT -5
This will be BAD. It's guaranteed. I don't know why I watched today, but I did. And I only watch once a month - maybe. I guess I miss PMS more than I thought.
Opening fridge – here we go! A half bottle of wine – let the show begin (cue Spill The Wine):
Di and Aiden –They're not, but they should be at the grocery store looking into the lack of Aunt Jamima, Skippy Peanut-Butter and Chiquita Bananas on the shelves. They DO notice there’s a shortage but decide to go a party instead. Cue Day-O.
Zach smirks. Says he remembers his mom winking – it was the worst day of his life. Cue a Wink and a Nod.
CREDITS
Knock, knock.
Bianca: Who’s there?
Zoe: Zoe who used to be Zarf but now is a lesbian trapped in a man’s body and wants to prove it to you. However that works.
Bianca: Um, okay.
Zoe gives the ugliest doll in the history of ugly dolls to Bianca but it’s really sweet when you think that Zoe's favorite movie character was Chucky. Bianca doesn’t know what to say. She starts humming the theme from the Twilight Zone. Rod Sterling makes a brief appearance, even though he is dead.
Cue Theme from The Outer Limits. Do NOT touch that dial. I tried and Babe rang my doorbell and wanted pancakes. It was traumatic.
Commercial
Ryan and Zach in suits – Zach thinks back about Kendall’s safety. But Kendall is fine with getting killed. So Zach smirks, shrugs his shoulders and looks for his men. Don’t worry, Zach, I’ve never seen them, either.
Babe is worming her way back into JR’s life. I’m having a really bad visual of a worm wearing a little blond wig with bangs.
Oh, and just in case no one knew, there’s more Babe, more Babe, AND more Babe. It’s all Babe All Day. All the time.
Julia with Jamie – Kathy can’t lose another mother. Kathy needs to stop losing things and pay more attention to where she leaves her stuff.
Jamie says it’s okay – Dixie is in heaven making chocolate chip cookies. Then he tries to button the doll’s dress back up. Okay.
Everyone is dressed for the Fusion party. Jon promises not to do anything stupid like make sandwiches or try to kill anyone. Or grow another brain tumor.
Commercial
Babe tells JR we’ve made Progress. Maybe she means the insurance company. JR’s DUI has finally been removed from the records. Babe says Geiko wouldn’t take them.
Tad/Adam/Kwak – ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Blah, blah, blah, Dixie. Blah, blah, blah Dixie, who? No one remembers. Are we going to a funeral or a party? Kwak says, well, we have time to kill until the funeral, so let’s go to the party. Tad and Adam agree because they’re transfixed by Kwak’s twins.
At the party –
Palmer – What is there to celebrate?”
Opal – The fact we get to say any lines today?
Zach – This food is brought to you by my people. Whoever and wherever they are. Chow down!
Commercial
Babe wants to be there for JR. She’s a gift from Dixie. Babe will be safe until JR decides to kill her again.
Bianca and Zoe – more ugly doll conversation. He/she tells Bianca he’s never met anyone more wonderful than her – but he’s lying. Babe, Babe, and more Babe. It wasn’t said, but I know a Babe love-fest when I feel like throwing up.
Kendall at party honoring Dixie by babbling a bunch of insincere crap about someone she bitch-slapped. I personally felt all choked up remembering that.
Opal speaks. Holy Crap!
Babe and JR hold hands and Kendall is tempted to hug Babe. I went and cleaned my toilet.
BABE, BABE and MORE BABE.
Annie tells Julia to try her. Julia says she just might take her up on it. Or vice-versa. Either way, it was interesting.
Adam and Kwak –Adam says he sold Babe short. (he probably tried, but even Craig’s List has principals.) Thinks she is good for his son. Adam just set himself up to be the next S/K victim with that line.
Josh/Babe – I love you, but loving someone means letting them go. So then please do it.
Zoe – had encounter with Maggie. Maggie couldn’t believe that Zoe is actually wearing sleeves.
Babe says We’re through, Josh, Come back Josh – Much tongue action ensues.
JR sees tender “good-bye for the three hundredth and fifty-third time” and thinks “Maybe I need to re-evaluate my contract.”
Previews for next week:
Babe and Josh choke on each other’s tongues – they arrive DOA at PV Hospital. Official cause of death “PBB (“Perpetual Bye-Byes) and JJ’s” (Just Joshing).
Jamie and Julia decide that Cathy/Kate is either nine or Nineteen-Years-Old. The writers can’t decide. (Cue Hey Nineteen)
Tad meanders around town whistling “Dixie” when David suddenly appears and they run off to Africa together where they meet up with Jeff Martin who has become really annoyed at having to drool after Erica and they all take Malaria pills and toast Myrtle who has now become concerned about Palmer but still lusts after Zach and Zach decides that he likes Myrtle’s donuts and witty conversation as opposed to being a smirking, silent, stiff (but not in a GOOD way) stooge when dealing with Kendall and Ryan and decides, what the hell, let Kendall and Ryan be together, but what am I to do with my Spike Rocks t-shirt, and Myrtle tells him to get over it and kisses him passionately and then Ruth meets with Janet and discovers that she (Ruth) is actually the serial killer and teams up with Janet to kill off Frons, et al and they start a new show with Dr. Dave, Dixie, Simone, Dani, Tad, Brooke, Adam and Winnie. It’s called All My Cast-Offs. Cue the Theme from Gilligan’s Island.
Oh, and meanwhile, Little A is still sitting in his high-chair, while in a drug-induced stupor even though he’s eighteen-years-old, waiting for HIS share of the peanut-butter and banana pancakes. I say let him have as much as he wants.
Cue “Put The Lime in the Coconut”, just because that song keeps going through my head today and I can’t get rid of it.
Opening fridge – here we go! A half bottle of wine – let the show begin (cue Spill The Wine):
Di and Aiden –They're not, but they should be at the grocery store looking into the lack of Aunt Jamima, Skippy Peanut-Butter and Chiquita Bananas on the shelves. They DO notice there’s a shortage but decide to go a party instead. Cue Day-O.
Zach smirks. Says he remembers his mom winking – it was the worst day of his life. Cue a Wink and a Nod.
CREDITS
Knock, knock.
Bianca: Who’s there?
Zoe: Zoe who used to be Zarf but now is a lesbian trapped in a man’s body and wants to prove it to you. However that works.
Bianca: Um, okay.
Zoe gives the ugliest doll in the history of ugly dolls to Bianca but it’s really sweet when you think that Zoe's favorite movie character was Chucky. Bianca doesn’t know what to say. She starts humming the theme from the Twilight Zone. Rod Sterling makes a brief appearance, even though he is dead.
Cue Theme from The Outer Limits. Do NOT touch that dial. I tried and Babe rang my doorbell and wanted pancakes. It was traumatic.
Commercial
Ryan and Zach in suits – Zach thinks back about Kendall’s safety. But Kendall is fine with getting killed. So Zach smirks, shrugs his shoulders and looks for his men. Don’t worry, Zach, I’ve never seen them, either.
Babe is worming her way back into JR’s life. I’m having a really bad visual of a worm wearing a little blond wig with bangs.
Oh, and just in case no one knew, there’s more Babe, more Babe, AND more Babe. It’s all Babe All Day. All the time.
Julia with Jamie – Kathy can’t lose another mother. Kathy needs to stop losing things and pay more attention to where she leaves her stuff.
Jamie says it’s okay – Dixie is in heaven making chocolate chip cookies. Then he tries to button the doll’s dress back up. Okay.
Everyone is dressed for the Fusion party. Jon promises not to do anything stupid like make sandwiches or try to kill anyone. Or grow another brain tumor.
Commercial
Babe tells JR we’ve made Progress. Maybe she means the insurance company. JR’s DUI has finally been removed from the records. Babe says Geiko wouldn’t take them.
Tad/Adam/Kwak – ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Blah, blah, blah, Dixie. Blah, blah, blah Dixie, who? No one remembers. Are we going to a funeral or a party? Kwak says, well, we have time to kill until the funeral, so let’s go to the party. Tad and Adam agree because they’re transfixed by Kwak’s twins.
At the party –
Palmer – What is there to celebrate?”
Opal – The fact we get to say any lines today?
Zach – This food is brought to you by my people. Whoever and wherever they are. Chow down!
Commercial
Babe wants to be there for JR. She’s a gift from Dixie. Babe will be safe until JR decides to kill her again.
Bianca and Zoe – more ugly doll conversation. He/she tells Bianca he’s never met anyone more wonderful than her – but he’s lying. Babe, Babe, and more Babe. It wasn’t said, but I know a Babe love-fest when I feel like throwing up.
Kendall at party honoring Dixie by babbling a bunch of insincere crap about someone she bitch-slapped. I personally felt all choked up remembering that.
Opal speaks. Holy Crap!
Babe and JR hold hands and Kendall is tempted to hug Babe. I went and cleaned my toilet.
BABE, BABE and MORE BABE.
Annie tells Julia to try her. Julia says she just might take her up on it. Or vice-versa. Either way, it was interesting.
Adam and Kwak –Adam says he sold Babe short. (he probably tried, but even Craig’s List has principals.) Thinks she is good for his son. Adam just set himself up to be the next S/K victim with that line.
Josh/Babe – I love you, but loving someone means letting them go. So then please do it.
Zoe – had encounter with Maggie. Maggie couldn’t believe that Zoe is actually wearing sleeves.
Babe says We’re through, Josh, Come back Josh – Much tongue action ensues.
JR sees tender “good-bye for the three hundredth and fifty-third time” and thinks “Maybe I need to re-evaluate my contract.”
Previews for next week:
Babe and Josh choke on each other’s tongues – they arrive DOA at PV Hospital. Official cause of death “PBB (“Perpetual Bye-Byes) and JJ’s” (Just Joshing).
Jamie and Julia decide that Cathy/Kate is either nine or Nineteen-Years-Old. The writers can’t decide. (Cue Hey Nineteen)
Tad meanders around town whistling “Dixie” when David suddenly appears and they run off to Africa together where they meet up with Jeff Martin who has become really annoyed at having to drool after Erica and they all take Malaria pills and toast Myrtle who has now become concerned about Palmer but still lusts after Zach and Zach decides that he likes Myrtle’s donuts and witty conversation as opposed to being a smirking, silent, stiff (but not in a GOOD way) stooge when dealing with Kendall and Ryan and decides, what the hell, let Kendall and Ryan be together, but what am I to do with my Spike Rocks t-shirt, and Myrtle tells him to get over it and kisses him passionately and then Ruth meets with Janet and discovers that she (Ruth) is actually the serial killer and teams up with Janet to kill off Frons, et al and they start a new show with Dr. Dave, Dixie, Simone, Dani, Tad, Brooke, Adam and Winnie. It’s called All My Cast-Offs. Cue the Theme from Gilligan’s Island.
Oh, and meanwhile, Little A is still sitting in his high-chair, while in a drug-induced stupor even though he’s eighteen-years-old, waiting for HIS share of the peanut-butter and banana pancakes. I say let him have as much as he wants.
Cue “Put The Lime in the Coconut”, just because that song keeps going through my head today and I can’t get rid of it.