Post by trixie on Oct 13, 2007 18:46:11 GMT -5
Okay, so my week wasn’t bad enough that I just HAD to top it off with a “live” viewing of AMC. It wasn’t pretty.
Here goes with my more-than-usual apologies:
Spike does his best Robert De Niro. (You talkin’ to me? Huh? You talking’ to me?”) while Kendall babbles on and on and on and on about Mauvelee. Zach appears as Spike hands Kendall a note. Kendall reads it and says “Ian, who?” Spike throws his binky down in disgust. “I may be deaf, but I’m not a babbling idiot.”
Ritchie creeps up on Annie and gives her a noogie. Annie says he wins as a noogie always beats out a wedgie. Ritchie says “I win?” At last, all those years in prison paid off! I sure miss those wedgies, though”
Annie says they have to spend more time alone together.
Ritchie says, “But you’re my sister. And your husband won’t like it.
Annie says Never mind. Come to dinner but give me some time to slip into something more comfortable – I mean buy some groceries. Either way I’m pretty sure it involves a zucchini.
Ritchie looks interested and says Thanks. It’s been a long time. Cue It’s Been Such A Long Time.
Spike is now reciting Shakespeare (“To Be Here or Not To Be Here. Where is my Blankie?”) while Zach and Kendall babble incessantly about Mauvelee. Spike interrupts his Hamlet soliloquy when he sees her lips move and he recognizes the word “Mauvelee”. He finds a new use for his middle finger and then hums “Everybody’s Talking At Me… I Don’t Hear A Word They’re Saying.”.
Mauvelee and Aiden at the Extremely Freudian-Double-Entendre-Dubbed Dive. Aiden says something like “Say, Sheila, let’s go shag a few. Mauvelee calls him a jerk as Aiden holds hands with himself and tries wistfully to look into his own eyes. Mauvelee wonders if she’ll have to get corn rows again and if she should just change her name to Sheila.
Hey, what’s Jason Morgan from GH doing at the PV Yacht Club?
And Adam comes in and asks about his “baco”. Oh wait, that’s JR and now they’re discussing the bimbos in their lives. “Ava’s a tramp.” “Yeah, but she’s not afraid of being a pain in the ass 
, which may come in handy should I ever go to prison and well, I haven’t slept with her actually yet, just sorta, almost, kinda. We’re still bush league.” Adam thinks of KWAK and the term “bush league” and gets a faraway look in his eyes. Father and son continue to chow down and talk about skanky sluts. It’s a touching moment. 
Ava and Jon appear at the Yacht Club and frankly I had to leave the room.
So I’m imagining the conversation went like this: Ava: Jon, like it’s totally weird? Ya know? You and me like, getting married? I like, went to third base with JR? In the bushes? Behind the Comeback Are You Kidding Me, Right? Next to the trash? So, like, gag me with a spoon.
So Jon Boy does.
Cue “Go Away Little Girl”
Annie with groceries and I just know there’s a big zucchini in the bag. Richie sneaks up again and wants to be sure that this won’t be his last meal. So Annie makes fried chicken and creamed corn. Richie gets immediate hardening of the arteries and Annie gives him one last wedgie as she answers the door and is immediately shot by the writing staff because they can’t write anymore pathetic dialogue for her. 
Cue DOA by I think, Black Sabbath.
Kendall, Zach and Spike – Zach gets tea while Spike plans his escape. It involves Opal and Myrtle. He smiles and hums Maggie May.
Jason Morgan, Jr. and Adam continue on with their father-son bonding. Adam brings up the fact that Jon uses his brain tumor for murdering folk he don’t like. Jason Jr. looks happily at his plate of Spaghetti-Os and wonders if Acid Reflux can also be used as a defense. Cue “Plop Plop Fizz Fizz”
Jon Boy and Ava – She wouldn’t want to marry her either, Jon deserves better. Jon says “KO” and strangles her with a piece of under-cooked angel hair pasta. He should have used Vermin-celli (ha!). But he liked the irony. Cue That’s Amore.
Kendall is now writing on laptop “Dear Spikey, I have a tee-shirt for you that says ‘Worth-The-Weight’. Oh, I think I misspelled that. Okay, I have another tee-shirt that says ‘Oops! I Forgot To Have Children’. Oh, that’s not good, is it? Okay, I have one that says ‘My Parents Robbed A Sperm Bank And All I Got Was This Stupid Tee-Shirt’. Never mind, you can wear the ‘I’m With Stupid’ one. Love, Your Real Mommy, Me.” (or “Me-mommy”). Cue Baby Love.
Richie tells Annie she took seven years (thank gawd it wasn’t NINE) of his life and so he should take seven years from her. Annie says okie dokie, take 10 to 17. I had really bad acne then.
Richie says No shit, Pizza Face. And he shoots her because he always hated creamed corn.
Aiden and Mauvelee are doing something that has made me search for the ice picks. I’ll be back when I find them. Cue Doctor My Eyes.
Aiden says something to Mauvelee THAT I FINALLY UNDERSTAND! “Isn’t this whole thing with Kendall a little strange? And seeing her on the sly is well, a little weird.”
Mauvelee says it’s always been that way and no one understands and by the way is her garter belt on straight? Cue This Magic Moment.
Back with Annie Greensprings and Richie Cunningham:
Richie says Mom always liked me best as the doorknob jiggles and Ryan steps in holding the world’s smallest gun.
Ryan shoots Annie because, well, because why not? Richie and Ryan then send out for Chinese and exchange prison stories. Ryan gives Richie a noogie and Richie gives Ryan a wedgie. They decide to go to Key West. Cue Close To You.
The End
Here goes with my more-than-usual apologies:
Spike does his best Robert De Niro. (You talkin’ to me? Huh? You talking’ to me?”) while Kendall babbles on and on and on and on about Mauvelee. Zach appears as Spike hands Kendall a note. Kendall reads it and says “Ian, who?” Spike throws his binky down in disgust. “I may be deaf, but I’m not a babbling idiot.”
Ritchie creeps up on Annie and gives her a noogie. Annie says he wins as a noogie always beats out a wedgie. Ritchie says “I win?” At last, all those years in prison paid off! I sure miss those wedgies, though”
Annie says they have to spend more time alone together.
Ritchie says, “But you’re my sister. And your husband won’t like it.
Annie says Never mind. Come to dinner but give me some time to slip into something more comfortable – I mean buy some groceries. Either way I’m pretty sure it involves a zucchini.
Ritchie looks interested and says Thanks. It’s been a long time. Cue It’s Been Such A Long Time.
Spike is now reciting Shakespeare (“To Be Here or Not To Be Here. Where is my Blankie?”) while Zach and Kendall babble incessantly about Mauvelee. Spike interrupts his Hamlet soliloquy when he sees her lips move and he recognizes the word “Mauvelee”. He finds a new use for his middle finger and then hums “Everybody’s Talking At Me… I Don’t Hear A Word They’re Saying.”.
Mauvelee and Aiden at the Extremely Freudian-Double-Entendre-Dubbed Dive. Aiden says something like “Say, Sheila, let’s go shag a few. Mauvelee calls him a jerk as Aiden holds hands with himself and tries wistfully to look into his own eyes. Mauvelee wonders if she’ll have to get corn rows again and if she should just change her name to Sheila.
Hey, what’s Jason Morgan from GH doing at the PV Yacht Club?
And Adam comes in and asks about his “baco”. Oh wait, that’s JR and now they’re discussing the bimbos in their lives. “Ava’s a tramp.” “Yeah, but she’s not afraid of being a pain in the ass , which may come in handy should I ever go to prison and well, I haven’t slept with her actually yet, just sorta, almost, kinda. We’re still bush league.” Adam thinks of KWAK and the term “bush league” and gets a faraway look in his eyes. Father and son continue to chow down and talk about skanky sluts. It’s a touching moment. Ava and Jon appear at the Yacht Club and frankly I had to leave the room.
So I’m imagining the conversation went like this: Ava: Jon, like it’s totally weird? Ya know? You and me like, getting married? I like, went to third base with JR? In the bushes? Behind the Comeback Are You Kidding Me, Right? Next to the trash? So, like, gag me with a spoon.
So Jon Boy does.
Cue “Go Away Little Girl”
Annie with groceries and I just know there’s a big zucchini in the bag. Richie sneaks up again and wants to be sure that this won’t be his last meal. So Annie makes fried chicken and creamed corn.
Richie gets immediate hardening of the arteries and Annie gives him one last wedgie as she answers the door and is immediately shot by the writing staff because they can’t write anymore pathetic dialogue for her. Cue DOA by I think, Black Sabbath.Kendall, Zach and Spike – Zach gets tea while Spike plans his escape. It involves Opal and Myrtle. He smiles and hums Maggie May.
Jason Morgan, Jr. and Adam continue on with their father-son bonding. Adam brings up the fact that Jon uses his brain tumor for murdering folk he don’t like. Jason Jr. looks happily at his plate of Spaghetti-Os and wonders if Acid Reflux can also be used as a defense. Cue “Plop Plop Fizz Fizz”
Jon Boy and Ava – She wouldn’t want to marry her either, Jon deserves better. Jon says “KO” and strangles her with a piece of under-cooked angel hair pasta. He should have used Vermin-celli (ha!). But he liked the irony. Cue That’s Amore.
Kendall is now writing on laptop “Dear Spikey, I have a tee-shirt for you that says ‘Worth-The-Weight’. Oh, I think I misspelled that. Okay, I have another tee-shirt that says ‘Oops! I Forgot To Have Children’. Oh, that’s not good, is it? Okay, I have one that says ‘My Parents Robbed A Sperm Bank And All I Got Was This Stupid Tee-Shirt’. Never mind, you can wear the ‘I’m With Stupid’ one. Love, Your Real Mommy, Me.” (or “Me-mommy”). Cue Baby Love.
Richie tells Annie she took seven years (thank gawd it wasn’t NINE) of his life and so he should take seven years from her. Annie says okie dokie, take 10 to 17. I had really bad acne then.
Richie says No shit, Pizza Face. And he shoots her because he always hated creamed corn.
Aiden and Mauvelee are doing something that has made me search for the ice picks. I’ll be back when I find them. Cue Doctor My Eyes.
Aiden says something to Mauvelee THAT I FINALLY UNDERSTAND! “Isn’t this whole thing with Kendall a little strange? And seeing her on the sly is well, a little weird.”
Mauvelee says it’s always been that way and no one understands and by the way is her garter belt on straight? Cue This Magic Moment.
Back with Annie Greensprings and Richie Cunningham:
Richie says Mom always liked me best as the doorknob jiggles and Ryan steps in holding the world’s smallest gun.
Ryan shoots Annie because, well, because why not?
Richie and Ryan then send out for Chinese and exchange prison stories. Ryan gives Richie a noogie and Richie gives Ryan a wedgie. They decide to go to Key West. Cue Close To You. The End
