Post by Lori on Aug 21, 2008 22:25:30 GMT -5
The following was found at the Jeff Branson fansite:
--- In TheOfficialJeffBransonFanClub@yahoogroups.com, "Tom" wrote:
>
> Do you remember the book that was out awhile ago called Everything In
> Life I Learned In Kindergarten?
>
> A friend and I sat down one day and put our All My Children Knowledge
> to the test. I was talking to Christina about this at Jeff's play so
> decided to post it.
>
> We figure this is how life looks to you if you live in Pine Valley.
>
> Enjoy!
>
>
> Everything in Life I Know I learned from All My Children
>
>
> Today's enemy is tomorrow's husband or wife
>
> Never go into the attic to find skiing equipment
>
> A neurosurgeon is just as capable as fixing a broken arm as removing
> a brain tumor
>
> If you don't find the body – that means the dead can always come back
>
> A checkbook is the easiest way to get somebody to leave town
>
> If love doesn't get someone to marry you, blackmail will
>
> Your 10th wedding can be as extravagant as your first
>
> Even if you have been next to your real father for years you never
> know you are related until your mother lets it slip in the heat of an
> argument
>
> Getting an abortion years ago can still result in a child being born
>
> If your husband tries to kill you it only makes you love him more.
>
> Cheating on your mate is not only necessary it's expected.
>
> It only takes one month at the most to get over the love of your life.
>
> If you are not involved in a baby story be prepared to be on the
> backburner
>
> You never have to really work - you just have to look like you're
> going to work every now and then and you'll be fine.
>
> Criminals are never punished. However, if you're innocent, be
> prepared to be sent away to jail indefinitely.
>
> You can dress SUPER fancy to hang out in the hospital or jail and no
> one looks at you strangely.
>
> You never have a regular job like being a teacher - you're always a
> fashion consultant, cosmetics company CEO, model or doctor
>
> You can always stay warm, even while wearing a skimpy outfit in the
> dead of winter.
>
> The secret to staying thin is to order a huge plate of food at a
> restaurant, take two bites, and then leave after a fight with your
> soon to be ex.
>
> Why bother watching TV, reading or pursuing any hobbies?--life is all
> about relationships, discussing relationships, sex, or scheming.
>
--- In TheOfficialJeffBransonFanClub@yahoogroups.com, "Tom" wrote:
>
> Do you remember the book that was out awhile ago called Everything In
> Life I Learned In Kindergarten?
>
> A friend and I sat down one day and put our All My Children Knowledge
> to the test. I was talking to Christina about this at Jeff's play so
> decided to post it.
>
> We figure this is how life looks to you if you live in Pine Valley.
>
> Enjoy!
>
>
> Everything in Life I Know I learned from All My Children
>
>
> Today's enemy is tomorrow's husband or wife
>
> Never go into the attic to find skiing equipment
>
> A neurosurgeon is just as capable as fixing a broken arm as removing
> a brain tumor
>
> If you don't find the body – that means the dead can always come back
>
> A checkbook is the easiest way to get somebody to leave town
>
> If love doesn't get someone to marry you, blackmail will
>
> Your 10th wedding can be as extravagant as your first
>
> Even if you have been next to your real father for years you never
> know you are related until your mother lets it slip in the heat of an
> argument
>
> Getting an abortion years ago can still result in a child being born
>
> If your husband tries to kill you it only makes you love him more.
>
> Cheating on your mate is not only necessary it's expected.
>
> It only takes one month at the most to get over the love of your life.
>
> If you are not involved in a baby story be prepared to be on the
> backburner
>
> You never have to really work - you just have to look like you're
> going to work every now and then and you'll be fine.
>
> Criminals are never punished. However, if you're innocent, be
> prepared to be sent away to jail indefinitely.
>
> You can dress SUPER fancy to hang out in the hospital or jail and no
> one looks at you strangely.
>
> You never have a regular job like being a teacher - you're always a
> fashion consultant, cosmetics company CEO, model or doctor
>
> You can always stay warm, even while wearing a skimpy outfit in the
> dead of winter.
>
> The secret to staying thin is to order a huge plate of food at a
> restaurant, take two bites, and then leave after a fight with your
> soon to be ex.
>
> Why bother watching TV, reading or pursuing any hobbies?--life is all
> about relationships, discussing relationships, sex, or scheming.
>